There were tears, fears and hysterical laughter at the Humorous Speech and Topics Contests at Vox Populi – and that was was even before the judges had been briefed.
That wily minx Fiona Dermody was catapulted in from Clontarf/Marino Toastmasters to act as Contest Chair and she marshalled proceedings like, well, like a Grand Marshall I suppose. iSpy tried stepping out of line once or twice, just to test her, but she was having NONE OF IT.
Once the judges had been briefed by Head Judge and Area 2 Governor Tomas Conefrey, it was time for the games to begin!
First up was Giggling Gina Galligan who gave us the low-down on online-dating. Are there POF – PLENTY OF FISH out there? Well maybe, but you’d better have a trusty rod and a big bucket of bait if Gina’s tales were anything to go by. She told us the rules for online dating with more chutzpah and better shoes than Carrie Bradshaw and even had the American twist to boot.
Next we heard from Energetic Elaine Gallagher who dusted off her porridge silverware to tell us how GOLDILOCKS IS LOOKING FOR LOVE. The men out there have spindly legs and sparrow chests it seems, and Goldilocks is up for something sterner. (Or at least Elaine is; Goldilocks was a bit of a layabout from what Eye remember). Either way, Elaine kicked some metrosexual ass as she pounded the boards in her search for true love.
ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH? Cos it turns out that Free-and-Easy Fergal Rice definitely is, and his speech told us all about it! It was all about the nudity, people, and wow was there a lot of it!! Around 2500 happy little Dubliners (iSpy counted them on the slide-show images) said hello to the Poolbeg Lighthouse and a few passing ferries. All in the name of photography. It’s as good a reason as any and there were some in Vox on the night who felt Kate Middleton could do worse than take a fig-leaf out of Mr. Rice’s rib-tickling approach.
HOUSEMATES were up next. Or rather, they weren’t, as Pot-walloping Paul Murray has decided he much prefers his own Everest-sized pile of dishes in the sink to anyone else’s. So he’s moved in on his own. So there! His speech should be printed on DAFT’s home page because everyone needs to know how to recognise the Non-Talker (various types), the New BFF, the Note-Writer and – HORROR OF HORRORS!!! – the Milk Measurer! Neat twist at the end from the enigmatic Mr. Murray.
Next up was Mesmerising Maria MacMullan who confirmed our long-held suspicions about the Tomato Effect and Bridget Jones Factor while WISHING ON A FAIRYTALE. It hasn’t always been plain sailing for Maria, and she’s got a first day at school story to beat any other, but the cheers that followed her finishing sentence meant she had no need to be red-faced on the night.
When Presidential Paul Duggan took to the floor, we expected to be entertained and we got nothing less. With his speech THE WISDOM OF A CURRY, Paul served up a spicy order to his audience who were quick enough to keep their heads – proving once again that Vox really is the Coolest Toastmasters Club In The World. Paul might have been choking on his curry on the night in question, but there was no choking on his words here.
And last but in no-way-no-how least! We had Dazzling Deirdre McCabe who was here on a mission. A mission to rant. Here to tell us about THINGS THAT ANNOY ME, Deirdre wasted no time. There was steel in her eyes and fire in her belly. “Lunge” bar staff, self-service checkouts, slow walkers, roadside canoodlers – was anyone safe from Deirdre’s tongue? iSpy wasn’t sure, so she hid behind a taller Vox member. Sometimes being seen is not always safe.
And that was that. The judges scribbled, the counters collected, and the Contest Chair called for a teeny tiny break before the Table Topics Contest in the second part.
iSpy barely had time to explain the Meaning Of Life to a guest before we were all being called back to our places. A quick drum roll, and we were off and into the Table Topics Contest. This year we had a massive 8 contestants competing and as they came in one by one to make their case for or against the Topic “CHAMPIONS ARE BORN, NOT MADE. DO YOU AGREE?” , iSpy couldn’t help but be proud of the calibre of the arguments made.
It’s hard to give a deserving overview of each topic in a contest like this where the standard is so high. What iSpy will say is that no two contestant answered the topic in the same way. Each one had a different angle which meant that the time flew by for the audience who was entertained throughout.
So, full kudos to all of the contestants who competed in the Table Topics contest, many of whom had already been grafting earlier in the evening in the Humourous Speech contest.
As soon as the final contestant sat down, our Contest Chair popped up. And once again, it was time for those magical tickets to be collected from the judges as soon as they had finished totting up. While the judges’ scores were being added up outside by the Head Judge, the Contest Chair led the room into some impromptu topics involving left-handed tin openers and the benefits of doing an Ally McBeal and representing yourself in Court, among other things.
Huge congratulations to all contestants for their brilliant performances on a very entertaining night.
Once we had all sung the Rose Of Tralee to congratulate the winners, it was time for the Contest Chair to relinquish her control on the motley crew in front of her and instead lead them to the final part of the night which took part in the Library Bar. iSpy would love to be able to report on what took place there but something has to be kept for the book: “Vox Populi: The Unauthorised Biography”.
You have been warned.
iSpy